Endings Matter
the end.
I’ve been really conflicted about the online world. The connection it promised is laced with coercive control and my experience is now flooded with chaos, resulting in a heck of a lot of confusion. We now have a term, nomophobia. We are not designed to take in so damn much yet everyone I know that is truly honest with themselves has admitted, we can’t stop. We are staging interventions on ourselves to reduce tech time because it is doing more damage than good. We can no longer believe what we see but we also need to start believing everyday people.
The monopoly of tech companies, the corporate control and the move to digital everything (WE ARE NOT NUMBERS, and I refuse to be reduced to one) all of it gives me the big ick. Substack have just sent a generic email saying there was a data breach of my email and phone number (writers only, I don’t think readers details were shared) so this is my nudge to bring everything back to my own website. I say own - do we really actually ever own anything?! I mean we pay for things under the guise of ownership but truly, we don’t get to keep anything, not even our precious bodies when this all ends. My work reminds me of this every day.
I want to apologise and offer a refund to those of you who have paid for a subscription to my Substack. I was so chuffed that people would support me in that way but whilst all this has been going on in the background, and despite my love of writing and sharing, I have not delivered. I have been oscillating between overwhelm and … underwhelm. Surely this is not what we signed up for? An earthly human existence that is dominated by working so much, just to simply exist, just to get by, just to make it through one day to repeat again tomorrow - this is how a lot of people are living. Surviving, not thriving. Here we are pouring heart and soul into meaningful work to get breadcrumbs, all whilst the elite ‘own’ islands where they can literally get away with murder and dodge tax? Make it make sense.
My website is undergoing a shake up as I reorient to life in Australia and clarify what shape my work takes. Whilst I was in Ireland - that’s where it became deeply painfully obvious to me, ENDINGS REALLY MATTER because it ended terribly - I also started my Grief Counselling studies. The irony (or is it inspiration?) is because I feel so much grief when I think of Ireland. I am sure that was my first introduction to grief, the physical feeling of my heart breaking when leaving the family farm for the first time back around the year 2000. Oooft. I had no words, no language back then and now there is so much to say but some other time. Sensitive soul, since 1985.
For now, as the rain patters down on the tin roof above me, I want to share a few things I have got goodness from:
WOMANCRAFT | Cycles, Life Phases & Rites of Passage of a Woman’s life with Jane Hardwicke Collings A briming with wisdom podcast I believe everyone could benefit from listening to. If you are a woman, listen. If you love a woman or live with a woman or know a woman, please listen. I feel like everything that was said about BIRTH could also be said about DEATH and GRIEF.
Dying for Sex and Dear Life - two pretty well-done mini-series (!?) offering insight into what it’s like to care for the terminally ill, be terminally ill and how society supports (or not) sudden and shocking death. Get the tissues. I don’t recommend you get all your death and grief education from the screen, but it delights me that death is being brought to life and loungerooms more and more.
Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir All the Way to the River. I listened to the audio book and really enjoyed having the story narrated by the author. This book spoke to death and dying amidst the entanglement of love and addiction - p.s WE ARE ALL ADDICTS. To something or other, even if your addiction is denial. This book covers it all. ‘All the Way to the River is a landmark memoir that will resonate with anyone who has ever been captive to love—or to any other passion, substance, or craving—and who yearns, at long last, for liberation.’
It’s hard to articulate the internal conundrum of trying to process so many endings, when life moves so quickly onto ‘new beginnings. I am currently reading Stephen Levine’s book, Unattended Sorrow. I feel there is a lot to be said for the speed at which life exists (by design) that insists we do not stop, do not dare acknowledge and certainly do not attend to endings. But, for me at least, I know they truly matter. The big endings and the little and the inbetweeners. The rites of passages we have forgotten or been conveniently conditioned to forget. I’m really keen to make endings matter again. This is not the end … this is to be continued … Big love beautiful people!
Find me here at Nannup Music Festival facilitating the morning yoga / stretch and wriggle sesh:
And here talking all things End of Life Matters in community. Upcoming happenings in City of Swan, Northam and fingers crossed Carnarvon soon too:
If you are interested in co-creating something for your people, your way, based on the below - sing out hello@eringriffin.com.au
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